Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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