their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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