I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Randomize
