There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize