she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
