I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
