dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
