Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
These tits shall not be calmed
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
