I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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