Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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