why didn't you poke me back
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
