She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
