It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
