2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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