So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
