His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
