haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
