If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
