Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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