Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
this will be a night to untag.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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