ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
