Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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