it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize