Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I can't put those talents on a resume
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
