i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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