dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
