If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
