You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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