That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
