Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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