Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
