Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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