its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
