My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
