That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
