I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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