I got chris browned last night
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
