You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
