yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
and she was petting her beer can
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
