I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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