God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
