For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize