My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
