You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Randomize
