i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
