we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize