I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
