Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
