is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
