I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
