my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
