If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
