so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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