she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
