I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
My vagina just clenched in fear
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
