return my video game
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
