Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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