Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
