She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize
