I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
