ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Less talking, more tequila
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
