It's like God shit irony all over that family
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
