you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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