***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
