every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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