i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
