I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Randomize
