I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize